All Strings Attached

[Private, hackable]

Restless.

Thinking about going out for another bounty.

Don't need one, though.

...it's a bit too peaceful here. I've become so used to yelling at the others every half an hour or so that now the smallest things are starting to annoy me, because it's so damn quiet. I'm not exactly complaining... but it's better to be able to hear where and who people are instead of jumping at shadows and growling at squeaky doors and re-re-re-re-recounting money.

[/private]

The restaurant idea is a steady success so far...if things with that particular part of our income keeps going at the same rate it is, we'll be pretty well-off...

[private, hackable]

I still need to get out of this place for a while. Maybe I can catch a bounty...

[/private]

I don't do virtuous.

Tobi, wherever you are, hurry up and get back with your report so we can get this restaurant of yours started already.

[private, unhackable]

Speaking of virtues, mental note: How in the Hell Tobi lives around all of us and remains, as he says, a "good boy" is beyond me. One would think that some form of his little innocent self would be corrupted by now, especially hanging around Deidara so much. Speaking of which...

[/private]

Deidara, where are you -_- Honestly, if I have to keep hearing complaints and whines about someone's "Senpai having gone missing", limbs are going to be broken, including yours when you come back.

Kakuzu~

[Private to Akatsuki, unhackable]

This post is a confirmation that Tobi Uchiha's restaurant location, existence, and general idea have been accepted. We will discuss prices for the menu items later (once you figure out what they are, Tobi -_-;;). Furniture, paint, and people to help you set it up are entirely up to you (and are thus coming out of your paycheck), I'm not lending you money for any of this. I will, however, contact the previous food suppliers and strike some deals there.


This had better be worth it.

[/private]

[More to make a journal post than anything, nobody really needs to know this stuff.]

The problem with our financial balance that I brought up some time ago is gone. Everybody's efforts to find some way to add to Akatsuki's income have helped immensely, and as such the balance in our funds is very stable. It would be appreciated if you would continue to do the jobs you've been doing to earn income, but it isn't mandatory now.

Kakuzu~

Restless lately. In worse mood then normal. You have been warned.

First person that comes to annoy during the next few days is automatic dead.

[private to self]

What the hell is wrong with me. -_-;;

[Private to self, hackable]

And still hollow. Still nothing there. I guess I should expect it by now though, not be too disappointed. It's another year to measure how long I've been alive. I wanted immortality, and I've almost succeeded. But it's nothing special. I'm not going to go and do something stupid like commit suicide though - I've worked too damn hard for this, for it to end, to just die.

But what the HELL could be missing?! I'm still not content. Still angry at everyone, everything...maybe I just haven't gone bounty hunting enough in the last month or so...I need to work some stress off, I think. I get no satisfaction out of lazing around and being unproductive. I'm ready to kill someone. Anyone.

[/Private]

Name: Kakuzu
DOB: August 15, ----
Age: 91 92
Status: Rogue ninja
Village [if rogue, former village]: Waterfall
Level: S-rank criminal
Current Affiliates: Akatsuki
Comment(s): ...who cares.

[Private to Zetsu]

Good work on collecting the bounty - it is much appreciated. I do wonder where the extra money came from...but I'm not complaining.

You went on the mission with Tobi. I'd like to know something, then. Who is he?

[/Private]


Hidan. Put pants on. Now. Before you become a castrated Jashinist and you know I will follow through with my threat.

[Private to all current members of Akatsuki.]

There has been a bit of an uproar about the recent financial issues of the Akatsuki as of late. However, let me, as the official accountant of this organization, assure you that there is no financial crisis here – yet. However, if we wish to continue upon Leader-sama’s plan, and still have money to live on comfortably, all of us need to in some way, help fund the organization.
Before I continue, I have a small list of things that we will be living without if the members do not cooperate accordingly:
1. Hot water. Even if Hidan does cease to shower at that abnormally wasteful rate of his, there are still quite a few people who use (and overuse) hot water, for only living in one facility. (Deidara, Kisame, this means you.)
2. Electricity. Plain and simple, the lights stay on way too damn much. Part of that comes from me having to stay up at odd hours in the morning doing taxes and balancing everything out, because I get disturbed all day when I have the light.
3. Cloaks, because Kisame, Hidan, and Zetsu ruin them by getting them ripped to shreds, stabbed through, and bloodstained more than any other member, and we can’t keep buying new fabric in order to repair them. I am honestly thinking of charging you for each repair I have to make from now on. YOU will be buying the replacement silk for your cloak. Red, white, and black.
4. Weapons, because we keep losing them. Kunai especially, thank you Itachi. Not very cheap.
5. Food. If we don’t get this account up enough, it will come out of your paycheck, not our food-ration funds, and that will instead go into the Akatsuki’s Master account. What you buy, you eat, but keep in mind that you ONLY have what you get paid.

Now. These will only be rationed and/or struck immediately, as will other luxuries of yours, if we don’t come up with some way to solve this. Thus, I am saying that every member of Akatsuki, excluding Leader-sama and those he deems to be exempt, is going to find some way to make money for the organization. Or there will be hell to pay. Please comment here in regard to what you are going to do (because you WILL be doing something), and I will approve/disapprove of it. If anyone has the balls to say that they decline to participate and thus aren’t helping Akatsuki achieve its ultimate goal, feel free to take it up with Leader-sama. I’m certain he’ll be happy to know that you’re wasting time bothering him because you aren’t doing what he wants.

-Kakuzu

[/Private]

Zetsu. I have a mission for you. There's a body here that we don't need anymore, so you need to go eat him immediately. He's that way [Points at Hidan's door]

01. Full name: Kakuzu. No surname. Isn't important.
02. Best friend: Ha, ha. You're joking, right?
03. Sexuality: A body is a body. But usually goes for women.
04. Favorite color: Green. Pale green.
05. Relationship status: Single
06. Ideal mate: None. Ever. Unless they can deal with the possibility of me killing them when they make me mad. Because they will eventually.
07. Turn-ons: Screamers.
08. Last sexual experience: About two weeks ago. Random town. Cheap whore.
09. Favorite food: The cheap kind.
10. Crushes: -_-:: Again. You're joking.
11. Favorite music: I don't like music...okay, fine. Soothing tones, classical...glass harmonica.
12. Biggest fear: Not having control over people. Including myself.
13. Biggest fantasy: FINALLY killing Hidan.
14. Quirks in bed: I like to pretend I'm killing them. Sometimes that becomes reality, depending on what mood I'm in.
15. Bad habits: Sidetracking from missions to hunt bounty heads.
16. Biggest regret: Don't have one.
17. Best kept secrets: Don't have any. If I did, I wouldn't tell.
18. Last thought: I'm going to find a way to kill that zealot if it's the last thing I do...
19. Worst sexual/romantic experience: I didn't know he was a guy. (Any comments on that one and it will be your last.)
20. Biggest insecurity: Hidan.

I won. Just like I thought I would. Kisame wasn't all that hard to beat...<i>before</i> he lost it and tried to shred me to death. One of the Uchihas stepped in though, so...

I was the last conscious fighter. I consider that a victory.

[Private to Leader-sama] Mission complete; Kamizuki Izumo is dead, and I got your message across clearly. Now as for the rest of my gold... [/Private]

Oh, and Kisame: That guy you fought a while back, the man with the scar across his face -- I kicked his ass. I don't see how you didn't take him down when you fought him back then. You must not be as strong as I thought. Ha, ha.

Apparently, I'm obligated to post in this thing at least once every two weks. Here's my post. The end.

...what, you expected something else? You want something interesting to read, pay me, or go read someone else's personal life. Now go away.